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The soldiers walked through the rain as they approached the canyon. They’d been traveling for days to reach the dragon’s lair. Finally they arrived. Then the dragon approached, and it roared. Yet, the soldiers faced off with the dragon, despite the noise.
Which is the best critique explaining why Henrique should revise the paraphrase?

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Answer:

option B. The best critique to explain why  Henrique should revise the paragraph is that he needs to add some descriptive language to make the story come alive. In literature a commonly used device is the one of descriptive language. Basically, descriptive language is used to create a picture of the scene/character in the reader's mind. Henrique's story is laying the order of events in a logical order but it is lacking the descriptive language that will give details to those events, making the reader to engage with the story line.

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