Please Tell me what you think about my essay, please be honest, i really need a good grade on this!

After a long day at school, nothing beats grabbing your electronic device
and playing a video game. At least sixty percent of Americans play video games on a daily basis. Although playing video games can seem as a harmless way to unwind and relax, they have harmful impacts on your physical and mental health.
First of all, violent video games have a bad influence on people. According to Emily Sohn, “Violence is one of the biggest concerns...Some parents and teachers blame school shootings and other aggressive behavior on media violence-as seen in TV programs, movies, and video games.” If children often play video games that are violent, or if children are drawn to violent video games, it may cause them to think that violence is ok. Or if that person gets angry easily, then the anger could turn into or lead to violence. Emily continues to explain that “people who are already aggressive...are more drawn to violent games and TV shows.” Children that are more aggressive and competitive than others tend to like more violent games.
Secondly, playing too many video games per day can lead to lack of sleep. According to the text The Violent Side of Video Games, you could develop “mean world syndrome” If you develop the “mean world syndrome” and it may provoke you to believe the world is a bad place, which could cause you to think you’re unsafe. Emily delineates, “I still have trouble falling asleep if I watch the news on TV or read the newspaper right before going to bed.” In addition, watching something with violence or playing video games with violence right before you go to bed is not a good idea.
Critics argue that video games are good for you, and inspire learning. Although, children shouldn’t be playing video games that teach violence. Children learn this violence, and start doing it, which makes others insecure.
Video games are not beneficial for children or their health. Violent video games cause aggression, unsafety, anxiety, and violence in reality. Children should be limited to the video games they play, and the kind that they play.